Chapter One

           “Merry Christmas, Man,” my brother, Todd, said as he walked in my bedroom carrying a breakfast tray. My given name is Amanda, but he calls me "Man" for short. On it was an overflowing plate full of eggs, hash browns, toast, and bacon. There was coffee with plenty of cream and sugar, and a large glass of orange juice. My name was Amanda, but Todd usually called me by ...

           Todd came home two hours later, and he was covered in dust, grime, and sweat. I had finished my laundry by then, and started his while he took a shower upstairs. I made us each a fried bologna sandwich with some potato chips, and we sat in the kitchen to eat. I had a coke and he had his usual root beer.

“She’s got so much junk,” he said. “I thought I’d never ge...

Chapter Three

           We arrived back home and took everything inside. We worked together to set the table. I opened the containers and put the food  in my mom’s old serving dishes. Todd got out the plates and cutlery. I placed our meal in the middle of the table. We sat down and bowed our heads in silent prayer. As we ate, we each thought about our parents.

...

           We sat in our lounge chairs in our backyard, in our pajamas, drinking the wine and smoking the cigars. I looked up into the night sky and admired the view.

           “What a day,” Todd said. “How are you doing, Man?”

           “The wine’s...

           I drove to Barnes and Noble, and parked underground. Taking the elevator up to the street level, I entered the store and looked around. I found the “healthy living” section and began to browse. There were so many books on the subject. I pulled out one at random and turned to the first page. It was an exercise book, and written in bold black letters was a warning to consult your docto...

Chapter Six

December 26, 2016

Dear Luci,

This evening I decided that I am going to change my whole life around. I’m tired of being fat, being teased, being leered at by people with disgusted looks on their faces. I’m tired of clothes not fitting me properly, but most of all, tired of living life the way I am.

What I’m not: Happy nor healthy.

...

           Todd dropped me off at the house and took off for the Ashford’s place. I unlocked the front door and set my bags down on the couch, along with my purse and went over to close the door. I picked up the bags and took them up to my room. I dumped everything out on my bed, the new clothes smell strong in my nose. I tried on my new gym clothes, and to my surprise, they fit well, and I actually...

Chapter Eight

           I finished my breakfast close to 9am. I had had oatmeal, toast, and coffee. Black coffee. I didn’t really enjoy it, it was kind of bitter, but I drank it anyway. I got dressed and packed my new gym bag with my swimsuit and a towel. Last night I had put some of my shampoo and conditioner into travel size plastic bottles. Another one held my shower gel, and I...

Chapter Nine

           I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the gym. I felt like making beef stew for dinner. I gathered all the ingredients and spices, placing them in my shopping cart as I went through the store, and then went to the bakery for some bread. I ended up getting 12-grain rolls. Those had to be a little healthier than the white bread we used. I paid for my pu...

           Marcie Starr showed up. Everyone gave their greetings to her. She looked at me and smiled. “Newbie?”

           I nodded and smiled back, nervous sweat breaking out through my body. I wiped it from my face with the small gym towel they supplied. It was rough, a little like fine sandpaper. They hadn’t used Downey or anything to soft...

           We took my car to Alan’s Steakhouse. Todd drove. I felt like I was in an unsafe mood to get behind the wheel, so I had handed over my keys. We got there close to eight, but it wasn’t as packed as I thought it would’ve been. We waited five minutes and then got a table near the rear of the restaurant. The chairs were overstuffed and very comfortable. The waiter had brought us menus and aske...

           I went back to work that Tuesday, not looking forward at all to it. Same faces, same comments, same bullshit. I sat in my cubicle and turned on my computer. I worked for a third-party agency, otherwise known as a collection agency. I was a debt collector. I’d worked for several agencies in my working life, but this one was the worst. Most of the workers here used intimidation and truly seemed to enjo...

Chapter Thirteen

           The rest of the week went by slowly. Brian and Matthew and the others were grinding on my nerves. I found myself often in a stall of the bathroom with tears rolling down my face. I was so unhappy, with this job, with life in general.

           I was feeling drained as I punched my timecard on Friday at 5 pm. I placed it back in th...

           I stripped my bed and brought everything down to the washer and got it started. Going back upstairs, I got an outfit to change into and took a 30-minute hot shower. I scrubbed so hard; I was almost raw by the time I was done. I dried off and dressed in my second pair of comfies and brushed out my hair.

           I went down to the kitchen wher...

           I took to my bed again, to Todd’s dismay. He tried everything to get me up. One afternoon, after I knew he’d be distracted by the game, I came downstairs in my pajamas and robe. I had my bunny slippers on.

           He looked over at me and laughed. “Those slippers always crack me up!”

       ...

           “Todd,” I said as calmly as I could. “What’s going on here? What is she doing here?”

           “I’m gonna go get the food,” he said. I watched as he went out the door, closing it behind him.

           I turned back to Marcie. “What ar...