I never thought I would see Lucky again. He looks terrible. I can see he is on Nyaope. His eyes look like they are made of glass and there is a big black empty hole in the middle of each one. I don’t notice him until he calls my name.
“Hey, Nothing,” he says, “Nothing can sleep on the floor.” He laughs like a mad hyena. “You’re not my brother. My brother is the best brother in the world. He looks after me. Look at my nice clothes. We live in a fancy apartment in Sandton. My brother looks after me. You’re not my brother.”
His clothes look good quality but they are dirty. He looks like he hasn’t washed in weeks. He is out of his mind. Sipho is killing him with drugs. If I hadn’t run away I might also be like him.
“I don’t believe your fancy apartment, I tell him. What’s it called?”
“Don’t know. Sunshine, Sunlight, something…” He laughs again throwing his hands sideways as if he had not a worry in the world. He moves closer to me and puts his face right in front of my nose.
“My brother knows about you,” he says. He wags a finger from side to side. “He found your CD player and your book in that stinking field. He’s got all your stuff.” His voice gets louder as if he is spitting words in my face. “He’s coming after you. He doesn’t like to be crossed. Last person who crossed him he cut.” He gestures with his finger across his neck, still smiling madly. “He’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill you!” He is shouting now.
My mouth grows dry. I am not afraid of Lucky. He’s wasted. But Sipho! Maybe he’s nearby. I pull Gogo Kaye. We must get out of here!
I am going to have to tell her everything. It’s not fair if I put her in danger. She is a kind lady. I have to trust her. There is no other way. I am in trouble. I need help.
When we get to her house we sit at the dinner table across from each other. She has made us some sandwiches and cut them into pretty little triangles.
“Now, tell me what’s going on,” says Gogo Kaye. She sounds stern, like my Gogo when children didn’t listen or Stella’s Gogo when children fight about food. Are all gogos the same?
I want to start at the beginning so she will understand. “In Alex, not far from where I live,” is a very kind granny. Every Sunday, she makes chicken stew and pap for all the children in the neighbourhood. I only found out about it when some younger children walking in front of me called their friend and told him to come, they were going to Stella’s Gogo for Sunday lunch. I followed them and stood in the line at her yard. I think she started off just cooking for the people in her yard, but now other children from the neighbourhood also come.” I pop a triangle into my mouth.
“What do you mean by ‘Yard’?” asks Gogo Kaye.
I try to explain. “A yard is like a piece of ground. There are five or six houses all built on the same piece of land. Sometimes they used to be bigger houses that got divided up so now different families live in different rooms. There is usually a toilet in every yard and sometimes a shower. In Stella’s Gogo’s yard all the families are friendly and help each other. When the grown ups go to work, one of the older girls or one of the grannies looks after the young children. The school children walk together to the school.
“Stella is her granddaughter. Stella’s mother died when she was a baby and now Gogo looks after her. Stella is very shy but she is kind to me. When she washes clothes, she lets me wash my clothes too. Once when it was raining, she asked her Gogo if I could sleep on the floor in her house. Since then I go there every time it rains and my pit is too muddy. We don’t usually talk much but Stella is like my sister.” I take another sandwich and brush some crumbs into my hand and put them on the plate.
“Stella is only twelve but already she…” I pause, trying to think of a polite English way to explain. I touch my chest with both hands.
“You mean she is well developed for her age?” asks Gogo Kaye.
“Yes.” The words sound right to my ear. I will remember them for next time. “But Stella is not like a lot of the other girls in Alex. She doesn’t wear clothes to attract attention or wiggle her bottom with messages. She is a quiet girl and very respectful to her Gogo.” Gogo Kay smiles a little. I wonder if I’ve said it right.
“The day before I came to see you, Duke met me outside the shop to give me the fifty rand from our last job. It was nearly sunset but the shop was still open and I bought myself a chocolate to celebrate and some bread and polony for supper. I was sitting up in my tree eating my chocolate when I saw him. I noticed the walk first. It was the walk of a man who is about to…” I am not sure how to put this politely.
“Have sex with a girl?” Gogo Kaye shocks me a bit. How does she know? I nod.
“Yes, he was walking the tiger walk. Then I saw the ears and I recognised Sipho, my cousin. He is not supposed to be in Alex. He was wearing a leather jacket and gold chains around his neck. He looked rich. How dare he come to pollute Alex!” Heat runs through my face and I can’t breathe properly.
“Then what?”
“I looked around and then I saw the other two. One on the right and one on the left side of the road but a bit behind him. And then, the worst thing, I saw Stella. She’s the one they were following.” I still feel the rock in my stomach when I think about it.
“Last month in Alex there was a murder. That’s not all that unusual. There are often murders, but this one got everybody very worried and very angry. A sixteen year old girl was gang-raped and strangled and her body was found in a car’s boot two blocks from the dump where I live.” Gogo Kaye puts her hand over her mouth. Her eyes widen. I need to try to explain to her about my pit. I think for a bit, saying nothing.
“You were worried for Stella?” asks Gogo Kaye. I nod.
“I need to tell you where I live.” Gogo Kaye looks surprised. “Have you ever seen how people dig a pattern before they build a house? It is like they make the plan for the walls in the ground first.” She nods, looking puzzled. “Well, the dump in Alex used to be a plan in the ground for a big church but it never got built. The grass grew long and people started bringing all kinds of broken things they want to get rid of and just leaving them there. In one place there is a car over one of the holes. It has no tyres anymore and no engine. It doesn’t have anything a car needs to go. I sleep under the car. I can crawl along the plan holes. They are like tunnels leading to my home. I don’t keep much there – only my CD player and my book from Baba. The rest of my things I keep in on old stove nearby. I only have one CD. It was in the CD player when I got it. It’s called ‘Bang bang.’ It starts with the sound of gunshots.”
“When I realised they were following Stella, I didn’t know what to do. There were three of them and I wouldn’t be able to fight them. I had to think. I got down the tree quickly and followed them. I saw Sipho catch up to Stella and start talking to her. She started running but he grabbed her and started dragging her towards the dump. I think he must have had a knife or something because I didn’t hear her scream. The other two came to help him. I ran from the other side of the dump to my pit and moved my CD player along one of the passages. Then I put the remote in my pocket and crawled close to where they were.”
“Sipho tore Stella’s dress. I could hear her sobbing. I pushed the remote and prayed. The sound of gunshots came from nearby. Sipho got a fright and he and the others ran away. I stopped the CD before the music started. I raced to Stella and helped her into my pit under the car. We stayed there all night. We were both so scared we were shaking. Every time a rat rustled the grass nearby Stella started shaking again. She said I was a hero. It made me cry. When I was little, I always wanted to be a hero like the people in my book. Now my life is just a mess. That’s why I went to the counselling centre. I want to be the hero Stella thinks I am.”
My insides turn to jelly again when I remember that night. Stella fell asleep eventually but I stayed awake, my ears stretching to listen in case they came back. I don’t know why tears are running down my face. They didn’t warn me they were coming. It’s too late to stop them now. Gogo Kaye passes me a box of tissues that was on the coffee table. I grab a handful and wipe my face, blotting under my eyes. “I need the bathroom,” I say, getting up and grabbing another bunch of tissues.
She nods and points down the passage. “Second door on the right,” she says. Then she calls Dora. “Please will you make us some tea,” I hear her say.
Once in the bathroom I blow my nose. Well, now I am committed. Somebody else besides me and Stella knows what happened that night. I have to trust Gogo Kaye. I look at my reflection in the mirror. For a second, I imagine I see Baba’s eyes looking back at me. It must be the bathroom light, I decide. I splash water on my face.
Dora has made some hot tea in two mugs. I add three spoons of sugar to mine, Gogo Kaye has two. I sip the hot sweet liquid gratefully. Gogo Kaye’s blue eyes look at me over the top of her mug.
“Lutho, do you think your cousin was involved in the murder you told me about?” My stomach jumps. It is hard to avoid the conclusion.”
“I think it’s very likely,” I say. I know what she’s going to say.
She speaks softly, looking into her tea. “What are you going to do about it?”
I pause. I know the right answer. I should go to the police and tell them what I know. But knowing the right thing and doing it are two separate things. I am not the right person. Nobody will listen to me.
“Gogo Kaye, I am in a lot of trouble,” I say, instead of answering her question. “When I went to see Stella today, I saw the police were searching through the dump. They are going to find my stuff. They are going to think I was the one that murdered that girl. I am already wanted for housebreaking.” In my ears my voice sounds like I am whining. I stop speaking. Gogo Kaye just looks at me. Her eyes seem to make holes in my head. My chair feels uncomfortable suddenly and I move my weight from one side to the other.
“That man we saw today, he is my cousin, Lucky, Sipho’s brother. He says Sipho know I interfered with his plans. He found the CD player and my book. He is going to kill me.” I shuddered.
Gogo Kay takes a deep breath. “I understand you are scared. So would I be if somebody threatened to take my life. I can take you to a police station if you like. But I can’t tell you what to do. Only you can do that.” She smiles gently.
“I need to think,” I say. “Can we forget about it for a while?”
“Sure.” She tries to smile, but I can see she is worried. I wonder if Lucky can find out where we are. I don’t think he would think of writing down her number plate. Even if he did, he would never know how to get an address from that!
I need to get out of there. I pick up the mugs, the sugar and the tea spoons and take them to the kitchen. Dora is nowhere to be seen. I run some warm water, find the dishwashing liquid under the sink and wash the mugs and teaspoons. It gives me something to do while I think. Before I know it, I have dried them and am looking for the right place to put them. I open both cupboard doors above the kettle.
“What are you doing in my kitchen?” Dora stands in the door, her hands on her hips, one red shoe tapping on the floor.
“I washed the cups. I was looking for where to put them.” I try to sound as young and childish as I can.
“Well, dishwashing is my job.” She takes the mugs and examines them carefully. “At least you did a good job.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, “I was just trying to be useful.”
“Maybe you’d like to go outside and play with Jasper, she says. There is a tennis ball in his basket. He can play longer than you can. You will just be in my way here.” She puts on a cross face but I can see a smile in her eyes. She looks younger than Gogo Kaye with a smooth charcoal face under a brightly coloured head scarf to match her house coat and apron.
I am happy to be outside. I need to get away from Gogo Kaye’s blue eyes for a while. She makes me think that she can see inside me. For somebody who is not usually noticed it feels uncomfortable.
Jasper is happy to see me. When I get the tennis ball he races around in a circle bouncing like he’s on a spring matrass. When I hold up the ball he sits in front of me, giving little wiggles with his bottom.
For half an hour I forget how worried I am. The sun is shining and the grass smells new. Jasper scampers around trying to catch the ball and then chasing it and bringing it back each time I throw it. Eventually the ball is wet and muddy in my hand and all I hear is the dog panting with his tongue out and my own heavy breathing. It is a long time since I had fun.