Mike left the boat in the late afternoon to take a long walk in the countryside. Again, it was a time of reflection. After his emotional episode on the boat, he knew he had to get his head straight. He couldn’t go on bringing up thoughts of Rebecca.
She had been in regular contact since the summer, something which he did not hide from Hannah. He had debated long and hard in his mind whether to keep her emails a secret, but had come to the conclusion that he needed to be as open as possible. He had told Hannah about Rebecca long ago, with a certain economy of truth, and saw no need to deceive her further.
In any case, Rebecca’s emails had been innocuous, telling simply of events and people at Glenside. There was never any hint of anything beyond a platonic relationship, though she ended each correspondence with a single kiss.
She was holding her part of the bargain and had been the one who maintained a pragmatic view of their relationship all along. She even pulled him up when he let slip that he was falling in love with her. A ridiculous sentiment he now saw, though he knew at the time she really meant something to him; she still did.
For his part, he had promised to visit the family again the following summer and he wouldn’t go back on his word. If Hannah was going to be on that trip it would be another bridge to cross.
The only danger was in his own mind, not through any threat from Rebecca. Amongst the strange events of the time at Glenside, she and Duncan had rekindled a long lost physical relationship. He was pleased for them, both had suffered in their own different ways through many years.
Mike still couldn’t figure out all that had happened, and of all those he met Lorna was the hardest to fathom. As he thought of her, he longed to see them all again; Rebecca, Duncan, Lorna, Karen, and Jim.
At the time, he thought it was Lorna who put him on the road recovery. Now, he could see it was all of them. Lorna flicked some switch in his head and was the catalyst, for sure, but without the rest of the family it may never have happened. Even the affair with Rebecca? He didn't know, but believed that in some way it had helped, so long as he could control his guilt and angst. He was still not sure on that front, nor whether he was over his feelings for Rebecca.
The sun was dropping lower in the sky and it was time he returned home. There were questions which remained unanswered, some would stay that way forever, but he felt renewed and capable of facing life again.
He returned to his car and began the journey home.
***
The days leading u0 to the weekend were uneventful, except for one brief flashback. Mike awoke on Thursday night sweating and shaking after a nightmare. Hannah had become used to these occasions and held him close, knowing it was best to let him come back to reality fully before speaking.
He cuddled into her breasts as was common when he was distressed.
“I’m okay, honey,” he said.
She kissed him.
“It’s been a while since you had a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It was the one in the Falkland Islands again.”
“That was so long ago, are the memories still so vivid?”
“Only since all this began.”
“How do you feel?”
“I can’t explain it. It’s like I’m really there again, the same emotions, just as powerful. It’s awful. It lingers for several minutes, even though I know it was a dream, a memory.”
“Poor baby. They’re becoming fewer though.”
“Yeah, they are. I’ll get over it.”
He lay content in her arms until he fell asleep again.
***
The weekend came around and the weather was fair, as the forecast had predicted. There was only Mike and his dad, Greg had an important soccer fixture and Hannah was busy with the shop. Katie enjoyed sailing occasionally, but only went when her mum did.
“Too many boys doing boy stuff,” she would say.
Ray picked Mike up in his Jaguar.
“Nice of you to give me lift, dad.”
“It’s the least I can do for a trip out on your yacht.”
“You can sit back and enjoy for today. But if this becomes a regular thing you’re going to start working, as crew.” Mike laughed.
Ray smiled. “I could do with the exercise.” He patted his stomach which was straining his trouser belt. “But I’m also keen to learn all about this sailing lark too.”
“I’m glad. I’ll teach you some things today.”
Within an hour they pulled into the marina. After Mike’s visit a few days before, the yacht was almost ready to go. Mike began to show Ray how to remove the sail covers and where to stow them, and then he started the engine.
“Wind is south, force three to four. We’ll try to tack down the loch, then it’ll be a good reach over to Loch Ranza. If it stays the same it will be an easy trip back, a reach on the starboard tack and then a broad reach or run back to the marina.”
“Whoa! Take it easy, Mike. Remember, I’m a landlubber. Reaches, tacks, running, they don’t mean a lot to me.”
“Okay, dad.“ Mike smiled. “I’ll break you in slowly.”