I arrived in Los Angeles four weeks ago and here I am in jail. I should mention why I’m here - not jail, LA I mean. I am a Personal Trainer to the stars. Well that's a slight exaggeration but that was my dream when I entered the Main Event Competition at home in England. The event is run by Move Makers Gym, based in LA. Their trainers work with the Hollywood elite and the winner of the competition would get to work in their gym for three months. I didn't win but I came close; Patsy and Rae, who own...

I am in work today and have successfully avoided my boss by bobbing among the gym equipment and offering to help anybody with anything that will keep me out of her sight. I spot Rolo - a young male member - not an immature willy, just a guy who has gym membership. He’s a client of Kristen's and is attempting to perform a walking lunge without success so I decided to go over to check his form when I spy my boss Patsy, coming my way. Poop! I try to look as involved with Rolo as possible so she doesn'...

I remember my first week here when I saw the studios on Melrose Ave; it was like looking at Cinderella's castle in Disneyland and thinking that one day I could be training actors and may have to go to the set and tell them what to eat from the food truck—one day. That was about seven weeks ago and I'm on my way to Raleigh Studios to meet Louis Platt, Ethan Caldwell's manager. I don't have a car yet so I have cycled. Patsy did offer to lend me her car but navigating the streets of LA whilst trying t...

I can't help smiling as I drive up to the gates of Madeline Harvey's house; it’s stunning. I can just imagine Jared and Meg's faces if they could see this house. It’s white with a sweeping drive and immaculate lawns to the front and rear. Cara, the housekeeper, opens the door when I'm about to ring the bell.

"Hello, Wanda, is nice to see you again. Miss Harvey is in kitchen."

"Thank you, Cara, how are you today?"

"Good, Missy, thank you. Would you follow me?" Cara turns and makes h...

I adopt my usual smiley face when I ride up to the large white metal gates at the entrance to Madeline's house. I am buzzed through by Cara. The lawn to the right of the drive is such a bright green it doesn't look real. Why should it be? Nothing else here is!

I take my bike around to the side entrance where Cara is waiting for me.

"Hello missy Wanda, how are you?"

"Not as lovely as you, Cara." I give her a little nudge as we make our way through to the garden. She giggles and shakes her head ...

I'm driving to Raleigh studios this morning to train Ethan. I've not really noticed it before but the light in LA has a pinkish tinge rather like being in the movie La La Land. Fighting the urge to stop the car and tap dance around a park bench, I drive around the side of the studio and drag my trolley along to studio 6 where Ethan is studying his script. He's smokin' hot – that's what they say here – in his black cycling shorts under white shorts and a white T-shirt.Ethan smiles."Hi th...

At last I'm going out! I've been here seven weeks and all I've seen of LA is the inside of the gym and this tiny apartment. It makes the flat I lived in with Jared and Megan look positively huge. Move Makers owns several apartments in this building and there are four of us from work who live here. Karen was one: she was my boss in England and she actually won the competition but couldn't hack it here so she's gone home.

I'm in my bedroom, which is a rather dull cream with an even duller cream wardrobe, bu...

When Ethan Caldwell walks through the door of the gym, I notice all female eyes turn to watch him. He isn't that famous yet so I'm not sure if it's just his good looks or the fact that this is LA and everyone knows all the actors before the rest of the world. He smiles when he sees me in reception and brushes his fringe from his eyes. I'm sure there was an audible sigh from said females as he does this.

"Hello, Wanda, what dastardly deeds will you have for me doing today?"

His accent does mak...

Hi Wanda," Alison calls as she wafts past reception in a cloud of Chanel.

"Oh hello, Alison," I say whilst moving towards the weight stacks. I'm going to keep out of her way today.

"I wanted to ask you—"

"Sorry, Alison, but I have to check on someone." I sprint across the gym floor to one of the members I know and tuck myself behind the squat rack before making casual conversation. I poke my head out after a couple minutes and Alison is nowhere to be seen so I venture out but her...

Living in LA sometimes feels like living in an alternate universe, especially in Hollywood. Maybe it's because of the film industry; nothing is real it's like a film we are playing out. I have realised after talking to Madeline that I don't want to grow old here – I don't think they let you anyway. There are signs everywhere around the city warning of floods or earthquakes etc., and I'm half expecting to see one that says 'Warning Old People in this Area!' I mean the trouble is that you never actua...

We arrive at the park and there are already people jogging and listening to music on their earphones.

"Why do they do that?" I ask as we begin a gentle jog and breathe in the soft morning air.

"Do what?"

"Everyone here, actually this is true of home too, has constantly got something shoved in their ears or on their head. I assume they are listening to music or messages or something but why doesn't anyone ever just enjoy the peace and the gentle noises of the morning?"

Ethan looks down at...

Louis has asked me to train Ethan at his house. I can't imagine it would be as opulent as Madeline's but I am curious. I drive into the road instructed by the navigation system in Patsy's car. It's rather lovely; the road is wide with lots of trees and every house is different. Ethan's house is Spanish-style in a light pinky brick; it doesn't have a sweeping drive as it's only about 30ft back from the road but the drive does lead through an archway to the garage. The front of the house has tall leaded ...

Madeline has asked me to come to Paramount Studios so we can work on her fitness and facial exercises between rehearsals. Today they are working on some indoor scenes and we will be able to work in with the producer as she has no idea when she will be needed on set.

I get through the security gate and make my way to visitors parking. Madeline will be rehearsing in Stage 5 and I notice there are shops here; I may get time to look around and shop today and I must get Rolo to come with me on the official tou...

I'm sitting in the make up room with Madeline as she is plastered in enough foundation to cover the M25. Her lashes are so heavy she's struggling to open her eyes.

Madeline waves the make up girl away when she tries to add yet another layer of foundation. "I'm sure that's enough dear, I don't need more than three layers even at my age."

I suppress a giggle as the offended make-up girl walks out in a huff.

"You are such a diva, Madeline Harvey." I laugh and check out the make up box that the gi...

Rolo is coming over for dinner as I told him I have some amazing news to tell him. I want to see his face. At home when one of us had big news, we would wait until we were all together and settled with a beer and pizza before spilling. It made those moments more memorable. Today's reveal will not involve beer and pizza but I have bought some red wine. I do miss my old life sometimes.

I've been cooking for an hour and am rather pleased with my efforts. We have grilled chicken breast with some sort of herb ...

I tried calling Patsy over the weekend but she was at some gym convention so decide to wait until I see her before mentioning the interview.

The first chance I get once back in the gym, I go in search of her. She's in her office so I knock on her door and wait. I can hear another voice as she opens the door.

"Hello Patsy, can I have a word?"

There is another woman seated opposite her who turns around as I enter. It's Rae Flynn, the co-owner of Move Makers, who I met at the competition.

"...

It's 4pm and Ethan Caldwell just swept into the gym like he was being followed by a wind machine; his hair blowing lightly in the breeze from the door being opened behind him. Every girl in the reception has stopped what they were doing just to watch him walk. His square set jaw and his pale lips against his tan making him look more Californian than Scottish. He's here to see me but my legs aren't obeying my brain – I'm stuck to the spot. Luckily he's obviously not so taken with the sight of me and gl...

When Rolo arrives, we discuss how we can go about our search. Rolo types Jimmy Hagan in the search engine and pages of hits immediately appear. This is not going to be easy; most of the results are about a legendary Sheffield United player who I'm sure was never friends with Ethan or Nick. We dig a bit deeper and find hundreds of people called Jimmy Hagan on Facebook. We look through a few but nothing leaps out as a potential friend of our rising film star.

"Okay, I suppose we can call it a day," Rolo say...

I arrive at the gym this morning soaking wet and wheel my bike into the bike rack. I'm taking some new members around the gym later but have a quick meeting at nine o'clock with Patsy. I make my way to the changing rooms to dry off when I turn and see Kristen in the doorway.

"Hi Kristen I didn't realise you were on earlies today."

"Yeah I'm going out tonight so I swapped with Lisa. How are you feeling about your television debut next week?"

I take a breath in, "Crapping myself actually. Any ti...

I have called Ethan to ask if he would mind testing a new range of stage make-up for Rolo. I will put him through his paces in his training session once Rolo has done his bit and we will test how well it stays on before streaking. He was very nice about it and actually sounded pleased to hear from me.

We arrive at Ethan's house in Rolo's car. He's very excited to meet the new star of the big screen as he calls it.

"Wow this is not quite what I was expecting but it's gorgeous. Look, at that," he says...

My shift is over so we are heading back to mine when my phone rings. I look at Rolo.

"What?"

"What if that's Ethan? That woman might have told him I was in his office."

"Okay, why don't you let whoever it is leave a message?"

"Good idea."

"You know you could just take it out of your bag and check the caller ID."

"I don't want to in case it's him."

"You are seriously sad; check it for God's sake."

I put my hand into the side pocket of my sports bag and feel the smo...

This is only the second time I have been on Rodeo Drive; everyone walking past looks expensively dressed. The designer shops here are amazing and the whole ambiance is efficiency and money driven. We have actually got dressed up to go shopping for clothes. I'm in my smartest jeans with my spotty blouse and Rolo seems to have squeezed himself into a pair of skinny black jeans and an off -pink shirt. I have stuck to wedges as I remember shopping for my bridesmaid dress with Megan in July and we must have cloc...

It's Thursday morning and it's raining. The Santa Ana winds are blowing and it feels like I'm back in Briford. They have a saying here, 'When the Santa Ana winds blow all bets are off; anything can happen'. It does feel like there's something in the air. Whether that's good or bad I have no idea.

By the time I park my bike in the rack at the gym and remove my hat, my hair looks like an early Jimi Hendrix album cover. I can hear giggling coming from reception, Taylor is covering her mouth with her...

After our second circuit of the house we lose Rolo to a bunch of women who are hounding him for make up tips. Kristen is pointing out anyone she recognises when Rachel Tallymen walks up to us and smiles. I glance at Kristen whose face appears to be stuck again.

"Hi,Wanda, I didn't know you were going to be here. Do you know Madeline?" Rachel asks.

"Hi Rachel, yes I'm her personal trainer."

"Oh is that why you were at the studio?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry again about your top and fondling your...

Ethan Hi," I say stepping back after bumping into his chest.

"Oh hello Wanda, I didn't realise you would be here. You do get about don't you?"

"Yes well Madeline Harvey is my client and I need to keep an eye on how many hors d'oeuvre she shovels into her mouth after drinking champagne. I can keep a check on you too now." I give him my cheekiest grin.

"Oh great, thanks."

"Rolo is here too, only I keep losing him to women who want make up tips."

"I can imagine. Hey, Wanda, can I ask...

It's the night before the interview with Jessie Rayburn and Rolo is helping me decide what to wear. I'm staring into the lycra-laden contents of my wardrobe and emitting some sort of groaning sound.

"What are you moaning about?" Rolo asks as I continue to scour the contents of my wardrobe.

"What the hell am I supposed to wear?"

"Let's see, you're doing an interview because you're a personal trainer so I would suggest you not wear a full-length evening gown."

"What I meant was, should I w...

The car pulls in to the studio parking lot and I take a deep breath. I may throw up in the ashtray.

I am greeted at the reception by a young, brown-haired girl who looks about eighteen.

"Hello Miss Mikos, I'm Candy," she says with a professional smile before shaking my hand.

In my head, the name Candy evokes visions of tall blonde-haired girl with big boobies and a fake laugh but this girl is serious and rather plain to look at. I can't help noticing how pear-shaped she is as I follow h...

For those of you, who are regular Jessie Rayburn viewers, you will remember my chat with Madeline Harvey recently and how she disclosed her secret for younger-looking skin; her personal trainer's holistic training methods. Well, we couldn't let her keep that ground breaking information to herself could we?"

The audience whoop and clap as Jessie continues with her introduction.

"So we have her here today to let us all in on the secret of eternal youth, ladies and gentlemen it is my pleasure to intro...

After the show, I say goodbye to Madeline who has some fancy tea to go to and meet the rest of the guys from the gym. We make our way to a bar I have never seen before but it has dark wooden floors and resembles a cosy pub. The smell of beer hits my nostrils as we walk in and I'm instantly transported back to England. My stomach sinks as I think of the last lunch I had with my mum and Jared where we finally clicked. It was in an oldy worldy pub and my mum, having accepted she can have a life without my dad,...

I'm driving to Madeline's house on Riverdale. It really is breathtaking especially at six o clock in the morning. There is nobody about and the early morning sun is bouncing off the white walls protecting the privacy of those who live in the mansions behind them. Each house is different and at least 100yrds away from the next. This doesn't make for friendly neighbours, which is a shame but I think I could put up with it. I'm sure they never have the need for a neighbour to take in a parcel whilst they are o...

As I pull into the gym car park I notice Kristen about to leave. I give her a wave and she walks over to the car.

"You okay?" she asks.

I relay the events of the morning. "Patsy is going to freak."

"I don't know if she has seen it yet but perhaps you had better show it to her before someone else does."

I blow out the breath I've been holding. "I'll go and see her now. Is she in yet?"

"Yes I think she's in her office. Good luck."

Somehow I think this negative press is not goin...

As soon as I arrive back in the gym, I call Rolo but get his answer machine so I leave a message; Hi Rolo, it's me, I'm just back from training Ethan and as I was leaving he got a call, all a bit mysterious and Ethan got a bit flustered. I'm about to go into a meeting at the gym but call me later.

There is buzz of chatter from the staff as we all take our places around the table in the staff room. Most of the other trainers here have been really supportive of the whole Tiger Training thing but I ...

I walk through the doors of the gym and bump into Kristen who is running towards the changing rooms.

"Hi Kristen, you okay?" I ask as she sprints past me.

"My client just puked all over the mats!"

Oh dear. I assume she's going to get the mop and bucket from the cupboard next to the changing rooms but she has gone to get Joanne, a trainee, who then walks past reception wearily carrying the bucket.

As I look towards the gym, I see Rolo walking out holding his mouth and pretend retching.

After training Ethan, I take a slow cycle back to the gym as my interview with Alison has been arranged by Patsy for 11am in the small studio. My track record with this girl and the media in general, is not great so I'm apprehensive about the whole thing and can't wait for it to be over.

"Wanda girl, what's up? You look constipated," Rolo says as I notice him on the chest press machine.

"Hi Rolo, I've got an interview with Alison this morning." I lean against the machine and sigh.

"Girl, you k...

Alison and I part with a fake but polite smile before I make my way to patsy's office to let her know how the interview went.

Patsy is at the reception desk talking to Taylor. I check Alison has gone before nodding my head towards her office. She finishes her conversation and we meet by her door.

"Go in Wanda. So how did it go?"

"Not too bad I suppose. She kept it short and asked a few sensible questions before trying to get information on Madeline and Ethan."

"She's a journalist, that's...

I'm picked up to go to the studio at 7am. The driver, a tall sallow-skinned chap about twenty-five, opens the door for me and smiles.

"Morning Miss Mikos, I'm Danny your driver. We'll be picking Mr Knight up on the way to the studio."

"Who's Mr Knight?"

Danny looks puzzled. "Isn't he doing the slot with you? Mr Leon Knight."

"Oh yes Leon, of course. I'm so sorry but I've never heard his surname before."

"Yes, Miss."

I slide into the back seat feeling like an idiot.

&nbs...

I am sitting in Ethan's trailer waiting for him to get changed for our training session. Although it's only 10am, he has already been on set for five hours.

"I hope you have eaten," I call out towards the bedroom.

Ethan calls back. "Yes don't worry Mum; I had oats, fruit and a bagel with peanut butter."

"Good boy," I say with a smile as he enters the lounge area.

I notice his eyes are dark and his actions are slower than normal. "You alright? You look tired."

Ethan sighs and runs h...

Back in the gym I'm helping a member who needs spotting on the bench press. This doesn't involve me running over and shouting 'Hey I just seen Bob on the bench press,' it means I stand behind him and ensure he doesn't drop the bar on his neck and kill himself. My hands are hovering near the bar but my head is still with Ethan and that kiss. I know it wasn't exactly a passionate snog but ...

"Oh sorry, Bob, I didn't realise you were going for another rep."

Poor Bob is turning purple trying t...

I called and left an apologetic message for Patsy last night but she hasn't got back to me yet and I haven’t seen her in the gym. I decide to keep my phone on me.

I'm training Ethan this evening in the gym after he's finished on set. I can't help but think of all the compromising positions we could get into if I take him to the studio. I'm contemplating his luscious lips on mine when I notice Rolo hanging from the chin-up bar. I walk over for a quick chat.

"Hi Rolo, has Kristen left you hangin...

It's nearly three o'clock by the time we sit down to eat. The table is stripped of its decorations to allow room for the food and wine. It looks and smells amazing and reminds me of family dinners when Mum and Dad were still together.

Rolo's dad has changed into trousers and a smart long-sleeved top; he stands to carve the turkey and grabs his glass of wine.

"I would like to say happy Thanks Giving to you all. It's lovely to see a full table and I personally am thankful on this day ... that I manage...

It's a lovely morning in LA: the sun is not strong but it's out and making an effort. I decide to get on my bike and cycle down to the little newsstand a couple of blocks past the gym.

"Hi, Gee." The man who owns the stand is of Venezuelan descent and I can't pronounce his name so like most people I call him Gee.

"Wanda my friend, what can I get for you today?"

"Just these two thanks." I pick up a fitness magazine and Celebrity Goss then hand him some money.

"Only one copy?" he asks when...

I'm rather glad to be back in work today but the phones have not stopped ringing. Patsy and Rae are inundated with interview requests and the whole team of trainers is trying to find time to get together so we are all on the same page about how TT came about and how long it took. I have also had several 'unknown' calls on my mobile but have not accepted them. I see Patsy walking through the gym as I'm pressing 80 kilos on the leg press. I stop and get off the machine.

"Hi Patsy, thank you for what you sai...

When we arrive at the Dagger Club there is a queue already forming outside and it's only nine o'clock. We look at each other and screw up our noses.

"See if Madeline has rung back yet," Rolo says looking desperate.

I look at my phone but have no missed calls or messages. "Nope, 'fraid not."

Rolo sighs as he checks out the trendy people at the front of the line. "I don't think we're going to get in without a ticket."

"I know," I say, "instead of wasting time in the queue, go and ask the d...

We make a right past a Corvette but the paps are on our tail, as they would say in Hollywood. I can hear questions being shouted at us.

"Quick in here!" Ethan pulls me into an alleyway and we run the length of it. The noise from the paparazzi has dissipated; they must have given up or someone more interesting exited the club. We slow down to recover our breathing.

"So what now?" I ask. Assuming Ethan has all the answers.

"I don't bloody know! I've never been in this situation before."

"W...

By 2am we decide to take a walk and find ourselves by the beach. The moon is casting a tunnel of light across the water in front of us and there is a light breeze caressing my cheek. Ethan takes my hand as we sit on a rock and look out to sea. We don't speak for a couple of minutes and just as I'm about to say something, Ethan pulls me in closer and wraps his arms around me. I smile, sigh and stay silent.

"You're very quiet, Miss Mikos."

"I'm enjoying the scenery."

"Aye it's a long way from Sc...

I am awoken by the face of an angel breathing gently close to my face. As I open my eyes, Ethan kisses me softly on the lips. My first thought is: I must be dreaming how wonderful followed by, I hope I don't have dog breath.

"Morning," I say keeping my mouth as closed as I can.

"Morning, did you sleep okay?"

"Yes, you?"

"I'm afraid I did; sorry. I was at least going to make it hard for you to keep your hands off me but realise I must have passed out while you were brushing your teeth."

The journey home flew by so quickly. Ethan held my hand and kissed me whenever he thought no one was watching.

"Do you want to come back to my house?" Ethan asks as we pull into the station.

My tummy does a cartwheel before I nod in agreement whilst suddenly wishing I had a mint, a razor for my legs and some fresh wipes. I didn't have a shower this morning as I thought I'd have one when I got home before putting on a change of clothes. Perhaps I'll nip to his bathroom as soon as we get there. Good p...

When I arrive home, my first thought is to call Rolo. He answers with a croaky groan.

"Rolo are you alright?"

"Oh hi Wand'. No, I’m seriously hungover. How was your night?"

I reel off the wonderful events of last night and the less wonderful events of earlier with Louis. No reaction. "Rolo, are you still awake?"

There is a sniff and a grunt before he answers. "That’s awesome. Don't worry, he’ll ring, he won't be able to resist you."

"Are you placating me?"

"...

As I leave Maddy's house with a copy of the script from The Origins of Blackheart, and to be honest, a heart full of hope, I say a silent prayer before turning on my phone. It beeps into life and multicoloured bubbles bounce around the screen. I wait for it to finish booting up and—nothing. I stare at the screen for at least two minutes before accepting the fact that Ethan still hasn't called or texted. My heart full of hope is now a heart full of hate ... for Louis. Quite frankly, I would like to tak...

It's been a week since the crash mat incident; I did get a text the next day from Ethan, which read: Hi sexy, yesterday was fun. Want to do it again?

I called and texted him back to let him know I was willing but haven't heard anything since. I'm wishing I hadn't bothered now. I know he's in the middle of negotiations for his new film and still promoting Brigadoon but if he wanted to get in touch with me he would. I read an interview he did in Alison's magazine; she asked if I was his girlfriend ...

I'm back in the gym this morning and my head feels like a throbbing boil on my shoulders. That red wine Rolo brought over last night really kicked my arse. Plus, it seems to be kicking me in the head this morning. I don't think crying into my pillow all night helped the situation. Oh well, back to the reality of my life, which is pretty great by most standards so I'm not complaining.

I'm taking a new member around the gym and installing the virtues of Tiger Training, when I spot ABS by the matted area att...

Although my heart is saying Ethan isn't with Lena and wouldn't do that to me, the picture of him kissing her keeps flashing up in my mind. I really wish he didn't look so willing. I have a shower and try not to think about it. My laptop is open on my bed, I'm tempted to try and face time Ethan but have no idea what to say so I Skype Megan instead. It's only 7am in England but I know Meg gets up at 6.30am for university. She answers straight away.

"Hi Meg, that was quick."

"Hi Wand', I was already on...

The familiar cold air of England slaps me in the face as I descend the steps of the aeroplane at Heathrow airport. I pull my coat tighter and smile to myself; it feels good to be home.

Baggage claim is the usual waiting game and as I lean on my trolley blankly watching the different holdalls and deluxe cases glide past, I notice one bag covered in Cling Film. I narrow my eyes as I watch it bumping its way around the conveyor belt. I spend a minute wondering why someone would want to do that assuming it wa...